updating my life on vesak day.

Haven blogged for sometime..
lets start wit the hapy stuff 1st..
jus came back from sentosa today and a great great dinner at 85..
The food was great cause i was freaking hungary..
we had so much to eat..
Cai tao guay, ba co mee, otah, BBQ chix, stingray, sotongs, hao jian, wu xiang and of course sugarcane juice!
We had a great time hanging out wit each other and jus chatting.. literally non stop talking for hours. from like 8 pm to almost 11pm.. haha... i really miss these times.. trust me, its probably one of the most enjoyable times in my life..
Sentosa is also a form of escape for me.. i jus get really happy being there..
Maybe its the sun, sand and sea.
Maybe its the countless amount of hotbods u c there.
Maybe its because i get to play my favourite volleyball.
Maybe its jus the company of great frens.
Sentosa is really really a great escape for me and the problems i have in life.

Have to go teach again tomolo.. haven prepare the stuff which i am suppose to.. BAD TEACHER!
I use to be really committedd.. but guess i am a little tired now.
Teaching is not simple as one think.. yes its pretty good money. and i can teach anything i like. BUT
Most importantly think we should take responsibility of wat we do and do the best we can.
I teach more the music.. to me teaching is being able to cultivate one's discipline, culture and love for wat he or she likes and believes in.
Trust me.. its NOT EASY at all..
Sometimes, i feel tt i have done a great job.. but now when i realised i have so much not done for my sutdents, i get so tired and disappointed in myslef..
I need a break too cause i am human..

Tis sunday is goin got be my last day at gelare..
I am going to miss tis place..
SERIOUSLY!!.. 3 fucking yrs of my life in tis cafe have shapped me sooo much.. good and bad.. i must say..
think i should slowly let go of wat i had in SG..
I can;t wait to leave for AUS.
maybe i jus wan to escape..
,maybei jus wan to start anew..
maybe its jus a believe i have tt i will thrive better elsewhere when ppl may be able to appreciate wat i say and do better,,,
BUt all tis is a wish.. its a dream..
i jus hop[e things tuen out well for me..

Kinda of stopped my dance lessons le..
miss them terribly again.,, my onli way to keep fit.,,
i am afreaid i will put on weight again..
i need to work on my body..
i still dream of modelling...
in the past. its like a dream.. but for me now,m i noe tt if i work hard enough...
i really can be a model... i jus need to work it and grab the opportunity when it comes..

i wan to end here today..
really tired from todays' fruitful events
haha
I don wan to write down the bad stuff in this entry..

I pray and i hope..
I wan a better life and i am going to fight for it...
Cause i am a fighter.


310507, THU, 2353hrs.

Contradiction!

I have a problem.. i realise i onli blog bout the problems i have and the really fucked up things in my life.. which is a good way to vent the anger in me.. but i guess its leaves onli the bad memories on tis blog...

Hmmm.. and yes.. yet another relationship problem. i really wonder why i get myself into all these shit sometimes..
I can usually handle the other stuff in my life pretty well. as in frens and work are doin fine most of the time.. but never my relationships.. so it sux big time..
I noe wat i wan.. but ppl always makes me feel tt wat i wan or do is wrong..
haiz.. so i start to think.. am i really wrong?
ppl say i am more matured then my age when the noe me.. but as times go by.. they sometimes scold me sayin gtt i am childish.. not look who's contradicting themselves and being the childish one..
Ppl wan me to be truthful in the relationship.. saying how i really feel at ALL times.. but wheni really do.. they jus can;t take it.. or they jus simply say they don understand wat i am thinking,
SO WHY THE HELL DO U EVEN ASK ME TO TELL U HOW I FEEL IN THE 1ST PLACE!?!?!

Anyway i am goin gto stop learning my dance after tis month.. i am really gonna miss it.. it has been a great motivation in my life for these pass months..
Aftetr tis month.. guess my main motivation would be to go to AUS.. YEAH!
Finally got my visa le.. so left a few thingsa to settle..
I hope AUS can give me a new lease of life.. i wan to start my new phse of life ASAP.
I feel so stuck now.. army sux!

Ok tts it for now. going to continue watching my AMtm CYCLE 8!

FUCKED UP!!!

DAMN IT!
I realised i haven blogged for such a long time
I FORGOT my Password!
hahahahaha.. WAT A BIMBO!!

ANyway.. i need to blog cause feeling troubled again... tis a great way to de-stress and list down the troubles i have.. so i can lok at it from a 3rd person point of view...

Hmm.. jus finish watching survivor...
didn;t noe i still like tis show.. but tis season.. i really luved it..
And i am extrememly proud to be an ASIAN!!
Yau-Man made we asians really proud.. he played the game wit so much integrity and wit, i truely respect him..and for the last season, YUL oso made us asian really proud by winning the game.. OMG.. Lots of people say tt we are scheming.. but to me.. strategic and smart should be the correct decision..
And i hate ppl who made a promise and NOT keep it. OMG.. damn it.. i hate dreamz.. ok maybe i don hate him as a person cause i don noe him.. but i hate the part when u made a promise and he broke.. and the excuse was because it was part of the whole game and so its "ok" to make a promise and break it!! HUH!! Wat the fuck.. rot in hell.. and he said he is a chritian la.. wat a shame.. god will be sad to hear tt.. i am not a christian but i think u should uphold ur own belief! whcih he didn;t..

Anyway ewnoughof survivor.. now its american idol.. final 3 tis week.. and melinda got votted out yesterday!
WATS HAPPENING TO REALITY TV.. R THE PPL TIS DAYS BLIND AND DEAF!?!?!?!

Omg.. talents, wit, intergrity and Passion should be honoured.
NOT superficial looks, cheesy lines, cheap tactics and stupid promises!

haiz,, anyway have been dating tis new guy i met on the bus.
everything went well... and he always says he misses me and stuff...
i like to hear tt.. but i hate it when ppl contradict wat they say..
For example:
I miss u so much i can;t wait to c u... then the next thing u noe , he's late the next meeting u 2 have.. If u really can;t wat to c me, then why r u fucking late!
I like u. and then i luv u.. then when u ask if u would like to be together.. as in get into a relationship.. he starts to say tt he needs to noe me better and watever not excuses.. FUCK IT!
then don say u luv me if u still wan to noe me better. how can u luv someone if u don even noe him well.. wat the fucking hell.. i really need to talk to him..
he says he is facing wit a lot of problems and he can;t decide if he wans to be wit me now... but come on.. all these to me r jus excuses.. i noe he can;t commit cause he can't accept the fact tt i am going overseas soon and he is not confident tt he can keep tis relationship going..

And i am jus going to get wat i wan.. if he doesn;t want o commit.. then fuck off...
i have no regrets.. but he is goin to regret not wanting me.. Australia awaits the arrival of me.. I am going to have a great time there...

Love bitching bout ppl.. especially when i blog, i feel like i am talkng to myself.. how psychotic.,,. but i jus luv it.. fuck ppl who are fake.. fuck ppl who don noe wat they wan and make u one of their problems.. fuck ppl who don realise who really r the ppl who deserve to be treated well and deserve the good stuff.. Fuck ppl who r selfish... FUck ppl who makes use of me!!!

FUCK U ALL!!!!!!

0113 hrs, 190507 SAT

I Hate To Travel!!

Had to share my eventful day on Thursday.. haha,, this was how it goes..

Started wit me going to camp early in the morning at bout seven plus...
Then from canp, we went to CMPB (at bout 1pm plus), which was at depot road, near tiong bahru to help move some furniture.. its all sai kang, meaning shit work.. But i was there to apply for my early dismissal from army too..
Then from depot road, i took a cab to orange grove road near town to go to IDP (at bout 3 plus) , which is the centre to apply for my overseas studies, to do my Visa.. BUT.. as my passport is Not opdated, they say they can't do it for me. ( NOTE tt i alrady called to check if my passport needs to be updated and they say NO.. but when i reach there they say YES it must be! FUCK IT!)
Anyway, had to rush down to immigration which is lavander to do my passport.. so took a cab there again..and i only reached at 5pm! they r almost closing, sp the bitch who was at the counter gave me a super black face. FUCK HER! And i had to do a brand new passport which cost $70!
Then after tt, went to far east plaze to meet my fren for dinner, at bout 6 plus.
After dinner, we went to bras basah for our dance class at 8.30pm.
And finish dance to go home at bout 10pm.
I finally reached home at 11 pm!!!!!

I was so fucking tired i swear i was bout to die man... wat the hell..
I was out from 7 plus in the morning till 11pm! and i travelled almost the whole of Singapore la.

Bedok -> Yishun -> Depot Road -> Orange Grove Road -> Lavender -> Far East Plaza -> Bras Basah -> Bedok.

Tis was where i went yesterday.. i can't believe it.. it was really a bad experience.. i am jus so unlucky sometimes.. have to do so many things and worse stil, have to travel from one place to another using public transport...
These are the times when u realy really wish u had a car!
Damn it,, I hate my like again..

Going to Fucking sleeep now.. so tired...


0220hrs, 050507 SAT