Ever felt like pushing someone off the Escalator??

I am feeling emo..

and also random..



I have been in good control of my emotions.. but a fairly good time.

i mean, i don show much anger, or sorrow in front of ppl..

and yes, i generally appear, happy and positive..

2 weeks into my new job, and i have felt tt, the physical strain has start pushing my emotional limits too,.



take for example, the feeling of wanting to push someone off the Escalator, when they don keep left, and i am in the rush, is getting stronger..



THe need to hurry, and literally run, to catch the bus and train, pisses me off. ( i use to jus take it easy, and flag a cab when financially, i was sound).



and today, when a customer, complained, i almost wanted to slap. and to refrain myself from doing tt.. i ask my colleague to go handle. which i noe, is very unprofessionall..



then also, when i got a call from my superior.. i got fucking frustrated.. i swear.. cause of some stuff tt was said..



i always tell myself not to get emotional over work, cause it really is not worth it.

and thus i don noe why i am feeling tt way, today..

which sux..

am i putting in too much now, that its is starting to be part of me?

it has consummed me yet again, cause work is like the main topic of my daily conversation..

which again is not a good sign..



and then.. the emo-ing me..

started coming back last nite..



i was fucking hungary after work, cause it was fucking busy. i swear.

instead of dropping by to get supper, i headed home..

at home, i was feeling emo..

and after not drinking for a long time, i pourred myself some whisky..

it felt like, catching up wit a good fren.. again..



tonite after work,, and till now, i am still damn fucking hungary.

but i really have got no mood to eat..

and yes, i am craving for my "best fren".. i mean the alcohol again..

but i am refraining myself from doing tt..

haiz..

ok watever..



lets talk about more random stuff..

i wonder wat most ppl do when they shit..

i always think its a fucking waste of time..

so when i shit at home, i always read the papers..

when i am outside, i start going through my HP...

but to my disappointment, calls, and messages are really rare these days (my phone bill last month was jus 19 bucks). This is indeed a record..

oh, and i have the habit of keeping some messages..
trust me, some messages were like 2 years ago. lolx..

one of the latest msg tt i have kept, was sent all the way from Aussie, a good mate..
and he said this..

"Hey, was just looking at some photos and saw one i took of you. you are a beautiful guy and i miss you."

Seriusly, when i saw this for the 1st time, i was so bloody happy, and keeping it in my phone, and looking at it time to time. also did make me feel good..
wat a true fren i know..
but we are now miles apart. haiz..

oh and then, there was this german guy who i am quite crazily in love wit..
it was his birthday a few days ago, and i sent him some stuff, and also called him.

sad to say, i felt tt we drifted apart..
i believe he has his on life in germany, and i probably don a difference at all..
but when i am down, and need someone, i don noe why, but i often think of him..
haiz.. anyway, i really need to be stronger..

i can literally feel myself.. getting smaller, and older day by day..
thats the pathetic life of mine..



150309, SUN, 0210hrs

Just a personality test..

I got this from a website. and i think its pretty thru for me. it might be a little too generic, and the stuff tt they say are pretty nice. haha.. well well.. jus try it for urself la. here's the link.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

100309, TUE, 0026hrs

Read tis, i tink its good.

I got this, reading someone else's blog..
don ask me who, cause its not important..
anyway, its a common problem in straight relationships.. and i like how the writer sees it..


One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... “You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

070309, SAT, 0200hrs

Brand Whore me.. thats the way i am..

just a random posting. since i haven posted for some time.

Finally got started on my full time job.
Which is back to F&B, but well, lets jus make the best out of it.
i will jus do my best, and earn money to fulfil my needs. lolx.
and yes, i am planning to work, as in teach during my off days, to earn even more moeny. yeah!!

oh, and i wan to the usual bimbotic things that ppl do on their blogs.
have a, "wish list '09", or the things i wanna buy list. lolx..

1.) LV wallet
2.) LV Belt
3.) Black Leather Shoes (More for work)
4.) Adidas High Cut Shoes
5) ANother hard Disk to store more porn (and also movies, and music la!!)
6.) Maybe a new laptop, cause this one crashing liao
7.) Adidas Watch
8.) A HANDPHONE!! how can i forget this. the current one is totally useless soon. ( I am hoping for the Prada phone, but i heard LG sux! but its PRADA!! lolx)

I am offically a brand Whore, but who cares.
I see myself dressed in LV from head to toe, one day. very soon.
THats the way i like it. and thats the way i am.
and of course not forgetting my favoutite sports brand, adidas, i will not forget u. lolx.
so my habit now is, "no label, no buy"
yeah.
How shameless can i get..
Woots!!


Am tired, but happyily tired..
i really am a workaholic.
slaps me!


040309, WED, 0114hrs