Whenever.. You.. Call..

Love wandered inside
Stronger than you
Stronger than I
And now that it has begun
We cannot turn back
We can only turn into one

I won't ever be too far away to feel you
And I won't hesitate at all
Whenever you call
And I'll always remember
The part of you so tender
I'll be the one to catch you fall
Whenever you call

And I'm truly inspired
Finding my soul
There in your eyes
And you
Have opened my heart
And lifted me inside
By showing me yourself
Undisguised

I won't ever be too far away to feel you
And I won't hesitate at all
Whenever you call
And I'll always remember
The part of you so tender
I'll be the one to catch you fall
Whenever you call

And I will breathe for you each day
Comfort you through all the pain
Gently kiss your fears away
You can turn to me and cry
Always understand that I
Give you all I am inside

I won't ever be too far away to feel you
And I won't hesitate at all
Whenever you call

I won't ever be too far away to feel you
And I won't hesitate at all
Whenever you call
And I'll always remember
The part of you so tender
I'll be the one to catch you fall
Whenever you call


Song lyrics by a number from Mariah Carey.. Whenever u call is the title of this song..
It has been terribly boring in camp these few days.. everyone clearing leave and stuff.. hardly anyone is in camp lor.. left camp really early the past few days. its like so boring.. think i am going to leave again later..
Went out wit mr charming yesterday nite.. hmm.. felt different now cause he seems to be a little harsh on me now.. quite sad.. he got quite angry over things tt i thought it was minor. and seems to give in to me unwillingly. really sad..
I really don noe wat i wan noe.. i wanted him so badly but i am very disappointed over wat he did.. and now i realise i am turning more stright these few days.. like at least i seem to be looking at gals more than guys.. hmm.. perhas another turning point in life??
I feel really pointless these few days wit nothing much to do.. jus sleep a lot.. making sure i have enough rest.. then rot at home.. taking my time at things.. like i said.. i think i am nuts.. complaining of not enough time jus weeks ago.. then complainign of too much time and nothing to do now.. wah lao.. there goes my brain.. totally bimbotic.. oh yes, America's next top model is back tonite.. YESH!!. so excited..
hmm.. still dreaming of becoming Singapore's next top model one day.. hahahaha..lolx.. but nvm.. its alwasy good to have dreams.. oh yah.. have been trying to improve my looks lately.. think i should really do somehting about it liao.. not tt i can style my hair better, i am looking forward to haveing a clearer complexion.. have been trying a lot of facial products, then gertting more sleep, and drinking fruit juices everyday, i hope its helping man.. then after my complexion is better, its time for the ultimate challenge..SLIMMING DOWN TO BELOW 70KG.. comeon bitch, u can do it.
If i can look like who i was just a few months back, it would be great.. then i would gain back my confidence le.. oh yea!!

Ok.. so ppl out there,, look out for the new me in 2006.. got to set some goals for the new year eh.. :)

Because.. Of.. You...

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
Over the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you


Yet another song lyrics by one of the best diva kelly clarkson.. hmm.. song title is "because of you"..

hmmm.. ok.. met mr charming yesterday for a show. went to watch the premier of king kong.. fuckinh long show.. 3 hrs.. wah.. damn tired.. not bad.. but not my kind of show lar.. then after that we had dinner then he sent me home.. well i really don noe wats our status now..
Guess its more like a open relationship.. cause he still doesn;t wan to commit.. he still can't convince himself and get over the issue of our age gap.. well.. it does matter but its not really a big problem u noe.. tts wat i think lar..

OK.. quite sad.. cause i am really quite serious bout him.. and i feel that i am in a situation now whereby i can't withdraw myself out of this thing and i oso can;t see any progress.. i feel so stuck in this.. haiz.. i really don noe wat to do.. i jus hope tt things will be better after he think through things.. but now.. as long as i still have him by my side, i am quite happy le..

And yes.. have u guys ever felt tt u r so so so tired u need a break.. a rest. a get away.. but whenever u can rest and u r alone.. u start thinking too much and stuff. then u get really depressed.. and u really can;t rest cause ur mind jus don wan ot rest even though ur body is realy really tired.. haiz.. i really hate this feeling... i really don noe how to handle this.. when i told this to mr charming.. he jus said i was immature.. hmmm.. sadded..
Any idea wat i should do..


OK ok.. actually i don really like my friends reading my blog.. cause i don really like the comments they give me sometime.. often very bias and stuff...
ok.. if u have any comments on wat i posted. can send it to my mail k.. kill_sluts@yahoo.com.sg.. haha.. why kill sluts cause bitches and bimbos rulez.. ok.. pls be serious when u r sending ur comments or suggestions k.. and if u r my friend.. i rather u remain annoynomous.. :)

TTS ALL.. cause someone is looking me typing.. haha..

Wats the color of ur eyes?

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong.
Your arms around me tight
Everything it felt so right
Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong
Now I can't breath no I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on.

Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel all right
For once in my life
Now all thats left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't Breath no I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on.

Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For Hating you I blame my self
Seeing you it kills me now
No I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...


OK ok.. this is another song by kelly clarkson.. called "behind these hazel eyes".. well i use to quarell with my ex on whther i have hazel eyes a not.. haha.. conclusion, i think i have brown eyes lar.. can be seen clearly only when i am under the sun. haha.. not bad eh.. think at least my eyes is not bad, although its small.. heehee...

Wat do u guys think of the lyrics.. i really luv it cause she jus sings with passion and her powerful vocal really moved me..

I was quite busy the past few days, thus explaining this long awaited posting.. hmmm.. had a few performances, lots of meeting up and rehearsals to attend.. was packed everyday..

For this week.. quite busy too, but still have sometime for myself lar.. so not too bad..

Oh yeah.. Had a performance last sunday and mr charming came to watch..
I was pretty touch.. haven had someone special come support me in a performance for very long already.. really feels good.. came wit 2 of his friends.. had dinner after that then he send me home.. i kind of really like him.. but i don noe how he feels.. guess he is still bothered by the age gap.. haiz.. he is often very busy too, so i can;t really see him often.. but we are finally going to watch our 1st show together.. yeah.. he had tickets for the premier of king kong.. and he asked me along.. oh yeah.. so happy.. hahahaha... hmm.. at least there is some improvemenet in our relationship..

hmm then back to my friend "a".. remember the guy who i use to like too.. we are kind of more like friends now.. didn;t wan to feel so attached to him.. he kind of pissed me off yesterday cause he is once again skirt chasing some other gals and telling me about it.. i wasn't really interested but i always listen to him cause i believe everyone needs a listening ear.. but the most turn off thng is this...

"a": Hey i knew a new gal..
Me: Oh really.. who?
"a": huh.. don tell u lar.. cannot tell u..

WTF!! then don even tell me u noe this gal in the 1st place lar.. am i being bad tempered.. i guess not right.. he is like wasting my time lor.. then he send my friend home the nite b4.. an attractive female friend of mine.. lets name her "d".. ok.. "d" is attached to one of my best bro.. "k".. haha,, and I told "a" clearly tt, i don care which gal he wants to have fun wit.. jus don touch my friends..
Guess wat, after sending her home, he took her number.. then started all this messaging.. telling me she is like flirting lor.. come one.. look whos flirting here lar.. can;t stand him sometime.s... i said she is jus being friendly lor.. But the worse thing was he ask her out... alright for a drink onli.. he said i was oversensitive and thinking too much.. he will not do anything to "d". but when i 1st asked him did he ask "d" out, he said no.. well how i noe he did.. cause "d" called and tell me.. Damn it.. he seriously thinks i wouldn't noe lor.. and i feel so so pissed cause he don seem to be listening to wat i said.. being really disrespectful to me.. and also to my friend "d"..
He can fairly well have his fun else where man..
Worse part, he said i was over sensitive and stuff.. but come on.. i know u well enough "a".. wat u said in the afteronoon about how u got her phone and how u r interested, how can i even trust u?!?!?! WAH LAO...
Yes i am over protective... but towards my friend i am cause i care for them..

ok ok.. getting veyr long liao.. conclusion is.. i am disappointed in "a" cause i trusted him but i think he crossed the line.. apologised and stuff but i will not forget this.. hmm.. how can u not take my words seriously..


Last but not least.. i can;t wait for tomolo to come so i can meet mr charming again.. :)