Addicted...

It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this.


Hey hey.. i am back.. luv this lyrics from kelly clarkson.. yes its her again.. wowowowowow.... she's hot. and i luv this song la.. i mean especially the lyrics lor.. best describe my addiction for him.. now..
and the way she sings it.. wow.. steam man.. hahahaha.. have benn listening to her album recently..

Ok wat else to say?? nothing much to share jus tt think its going to get busy.. xianz..
and there are jus so many birthdays to attend.. now to think bout it.. i think i should hold a party too.. so i can get back all the presents i had given out this past year la.. everybody would have jus forgotten bout my B'day if i don hold a party man.. so i am thinking bout it now.. hahahaha..

ok.. then i am going to a new place o do illegal stuff this weekend.. think its damn expose lar.. a bit regret now.. so think this sunday should be the 1st and last time.. hee.. hope nothing goes wrong or bad.. praying hard..

ok wat else.. i had my driving leseeon again last nite.. guess i didn't talk much bout my driving.. anyway.. i am really nervous bout my test next month.. really hope i can pass.. i don wanna c my instructor again.. every leasson is jus dreadful man.. ok ok.. u noe wat.. i need to go change now cause i am still in PT kit after my gym session with "wind".. haha..
update u guys again.. anyway don be addicted to my blog eh.. get addicted to some guy..

030706..

OK.. tis is a random posting.. don noe wat to say exactly.. haiz..
Tis is from yahoo and jus posted it cause got nothing to say ma..
Quickie:
Walking down memory lane today will be a distraction exercise. Live in the moment.

Overview:
Who says this task is impossible? The stars urge you to go for it. Your initial efforts amaze you with their quick results. Suddenly that impossible dream seems well within reach. Keep pushing forward.

And guess wat i think its quite true cause i am walking down memory lane now by reading my friend's blog and thinking about the happy times i had in poly. OMG..i miss school again..
Then i jus chased away someone who is trying to read wat i am typing.. don these ppl have some manners.. wah lao.. wan to read my blog then can at least wait till i post it up.. watever.. if u don understand me, then by rading my blog u will never be.. cause tis guy once said that he can read me like a book.. PUI!! if u can read me... then u can suck my cock.. stupid Capricorn..

Whatever.. then i am in resource again.. using the com.. not wasting my time but trying to get a life out of the dsucky situation i am in now.. wat lao.. jus hated my life now..

OK.. late talk about Burfdaes.. OMG>> Why is everyone having their birthdays at the same time????? Haiz.. so many parties o attend which means i will be more broke wit all the presents.. aiyohl.. headache la.. don noe wat to buy oso.. watever.. jus xian liao.. haiz.. then got some stupid performances this week.. two actually.. and its only like confirmed within these few days.. so last min.. then have to make changes to my plans.. i hate last minute already.. so i told myself better not do last min wirk next time.. it doesn;t affaect u onli lor.. it affects a whole lot of ppl.. ok.. then so much for ppl's burfdae and the last min stuff in company..
lets talk bout my own birthday.. my mum was so kind to ask me how i wanna celebrate my birthday this year.. MY BIG 21!!/ Ahhh stress again.. why am i so old already????
k.. actually i thought about wat i wanted already.. i didn;t really want a celebration cause i don c a point in having it.. why should i spend my own money on the celebration and let others have fun.. ok i sound totally selfish but guess i am jus being totally practical lor.. and i really wanted 2 things for my birthday.. not to be greesy but getting one is enough..
1st is to get a car so that i can drive to my far far away workplace.;. damn it.. this jus reminded me that my pradctical test is jus one month away from today.. exactly one month.. better try harder.. ok not that i wanted a BMW of Merc.. i jus wamted any car that is drivable lar..
2nd.. i want to go Paris.. i mean i have benn thinking of this for like so damn bloody long... i jus want to go somewhere far.. somewhere out of asia.. and where else but my dream country.. haiz..
but i got turn down straight away by my mum when i told her out it.. wat the hell u ask me wat i wan then u jus turn me down straight in my face.. and u r not even trying..jus say i am craxzy.. But i am not crazy man. i am going to get it myself.. oneday i will.. anyway i am use o fighting for things that i don have.. can;t even recall how mucgh u have given me.. if possible, i don wan anything from u anymore.. if i were to take anything from u, i will return OK!!!!!
Wat kind of mum.. haiz.. its tough on u but its even tougher for me.. i have benn trying to be strong and independent througout these years.. and sometimes i am jus so so tired alread.. especially wheni c families.. something tt i don have.. i get so tired and jus wanna give up.. give up on life..
Ok watever.. getting really depressed again.. why does my entreis always end so sad.. haiz.. can;t help it.. lets try to talk bout somehting else..

I was doing my usual illegal activity again yeaterday.. and i did it the whole bloody day.. from 0830 to 2300.. halo.. can u imagine doing it for like 14 hours.. i respect myself agaiin.. got slightly richer and its actually not so much bout the money.. its oso bout the ppl i get to meet and interact wit.. and oso a break of my routine lar.. then i was talking to one of my colleagues... and she luvs all those bimbotic movies tt i loved too.. like legally blong, cinderella story and aquamarine.. hahaha.. OMG.. tallking bout them makes me excited.. some ppl jus can;t understand why i like these movies.. but anyway we were discussing why we like these kind of movies and this is wat i deduce..

1. They always end happily - ever - after.
2. They have simple plot and i don have to work my brain when watching them
3. they got cute and pretty actors and actresses which are candy to my eyes
4. They have plenty of humor, love and hope in them and these are the things i lack in my life.
5. They jus simply makes me feel better after watching them..

Ok.. i noe its damn gay to engoy these shows but guesss wat, i can actually get quite emotional on some of the shows.. i mean entertainment exist to let us get away from the cruel reality.. so i jus relax and express myself when i am not working and i pay for all these entertainment.. why can't i enjoy them?!!??!?

ok.. anything else to share?? lets c.. oh yah. and last SAT.. i am so hapy cause i went to SENTOSA!!!!! after so long.. i jus went there after watching TV.. and the whole day was jus so slow.. i oluv it.. then got some tan, som swimming and some volleyball.. WOW>. love it.. best of all.. in the evening, we went to my friend's new place.. its a condo beside harbour front called.. Caribbean.. OMG OMG OMG!!! its so nice.. but i heard one uni cost like one million lar!! imagine.. OMG.. when can i afford tt. anyway we had BBQ and stuff there,.l. the usual bar and i jus eat and drink to my hearts content.. my favourite Baileys milkshake and cosmopolitan.. i know tts a gals drink. then had dsome lychee martini.. OMG.. and the FOOD!!! My GOD!! Its so damn good.. wit my friend's mum's Famous laksa to start wit.. its jus incredible.. then had pork chop and prawns so BIG they are like lobsters lar.. i am salivating already.. ok.. eat and drink like there was no tomolo. and most important the company was great too.. the usual Poly mates.. most of them came back from overseas and some jus took a break from work and NS!!! haha.. got together and jus had fun.. after everything.. jus set beside a fountain and stare into the sky.. time jus stopped.. i wanted to enjoy tt moment again.. then went home wit 2 of my best mates.. on the bus... we jus blabbered on and on like we use to do.. endless stuff to talk and bitch about..
Ok i feel like crying already now when i am thinking of these stuff.

But one thing never changesd..i couldn;t get him out of my head.. looking at the stars tt nite.. i knew the onli thing tt was missing then was him... if only he was there, then everything would be complete.. i can't bring myself to message him anymore.. he seldom replies and it jus hurts me.. we promised to have chocolate buffet together one day.. but i am afraid tt day will neevr come.. i am still waiting.. but i am already so tired. like i am tired of my life.. I miss you and think about you every minute of my life.. Do u still remember my existance,?? i always ask myself.. issit worth it?? i ask myself again.. I need you.. but guess i will never have ou.. and i am prepared for tt.. but tt doesn't mean i can;t be sad eh.. its jus human to be sad when wh can;t get wat we want.. especially when its someting u wan so so badly..