Post Cairns Depression.
The last post was short..
cause as i was typing, i was interupted by a phone call, and i had to leave for my fren's place.
stayed over at my fren's place, and then off we went to cairns together on MON monring.
Spent 4 lovely days in cairns..
Loves the taning.
Loves the Sun.
Loves the Great barrier Reef.
Loves the seafood.
Loves the Clubbing.
Loves the feeling of jus relaxing.
Along the trip, my fren M kept asking me if i enjoyed it.
and yes i did.
but then, it was back to the last post whereby..
i still miss like something is missing.
my frens are nice to hangout, and although these are not the closest bunch of frens i have.
i must say tis trip wit them, is still great. and we had a lot of laughter together.
But i really wan to spend time wit her.
jus her..
doing things together.
and enjoying each other's company..
Pretty impossible now i guess..
I remember b4 leaving for cairns,
we had to finish up some work..
and we had to tabulate the results of some surveys and research we have done..
although she was in my group, she didn't came to my place to do the tabulation, cause she stays really far away.
so for both nites, its only me and some of the other group members.
For the 2nd nite, as some of my mates were out in the city shopping with her, and i had to work..
we planned to meet at nite.
as usualy she was not requried to come due to the inconvinience..
but she gave me a pleasant surprise..
jus a simple gift...
2 krispy kreme..
it actually meant a lot to me, cause she said, jus in case i got hungary doing work, thats why she bought the doughnuts, and asked my mates to pass it to me when they got home.
well, i messaged her, for the 1st time..
something that is not work related.
jus to thank her for the doughnuts.
but seriously, i don think it meant anything much to her..
things are complicated..
more often than not, i hope tt i can be wit her.
but then.. i always think i am not ready for a relationship. as much as i wan one.
i think i jus simply have committment issues..
but i reckon most guys have committment issues.
its not jus saying i love u, and staying monogamous.
i do think a lot of effort, time and emotions have to be invested in a relationship.
As much as i hate being the lonely single now..
I oso do noe tt, when i am wit someone, i am probably going to hate the fact tt i will lose a lot of my personal space an time..
and that wouldn't be fun too..
I am jus contradicting myself.
watever it is..
i got a feeling tt she seems to be less attached to her GF now..
or maybe its jus me who is thinking too much.
and so wat if she is single someday.
will i still wan to be wit her, like i do now?
life changes, ppl change..
things will never be the same again.
041008, SAT, 1444hrs
cause as i was typing, i was interupted by a phone call, and i had to leave for my fren's place.
stayed over at my fren's place, and then off we went to cairns together on MON monring.
Spent 4 lovely days in cairns..
Loves the taning.
Loves the Sun.
Loves the Great barrier Reef.
Loves the seafood.
Loves the Clubbing.
Loves the feeling of jus relaxing.
Along the trip, my fren M kept asking me if i enjoyed it.
and yes i did.
but then, it was back to the last post whereby..
i still miss like something is missing.
my frens are nice to hangout, and although these are not the closest bunch of frens i have.
i must say tis trip wit them, is still great. and we had a lot of laughter together.
But i really wan to spend time wit her.
jus her..
doing things together.
and enjoying each other's company..
Pretty impossible now i guess..
I remember b4 leaving for cairns,
we had to finish up some work..
and we had to tabulate the results of some surveys and research we have done..
although she was in my group, she didn't came to my place to do the tabulation, cause she stays really far away.
so for both nites, its only me and some of the other group members.
For the 2nd nite, as some of my mates were out in the city shopping with her, and i had to work..
we planned to meet at nite.
as usualy she was not requried to come due to the inconvinience..
but she gave me a pleasant surprise..
jus a simple gift...
2 krispy kreme..
it actually meant a lot to me, cause she said, jus in case i got hungary doing work, thats why she bought the doughnuts, and asked my mates to pass it to me when they got home.
well, i messaged her, for the 1st time..
something that is not work related.
jus to thank her for the doughnuts.
but seriously, i don think it meant anything much to her..
things are complicated..
more often than not, i hope tt i can be wit her.
but then.. i always think i am not ready for a relationship. as much as i wan one.
i think i jus simply have committment issues..
but i reckon most guys have committment issues.
its not jus saying i love u, and staying monogamous.
i do think a lot of effort, time and emotions have to be invested in a relationship.
As much as i hate being the lonely single now..
I oso do noe tt, when i am wit someone, i am probably going to hate the fact tt i will lose a lot of my personal space an time..
and that wouldn't be fun too..
I am jus contradicting myself.
watever it is..
i got a feeling tt she seems to be less attached to her GF now..
or maybe its jus me who is thinking too much.
and so wat if she is single someday.
will i still wan to be wit her, like i do now?
life changes, ppl change..
things will never be the same again.
041008, SAT, 1444hrs
posted by SunShine at 9:34 PM
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