Sorry, I lost it all again.
Life gives us a lot of opputunities to learn from our mistakes.
And when we don, they make us learn at even a higher and bigger price.
This is wat hapened to me.
Just when i thought i could give it all up, it came right back at me.
and then i fall for it, and made the same old mistake again.
Punishment tis time is far greater.
And I choose not to confront it anymore.
but rather, i wan to escape from it.
sorry for being a coward.
but i am tired.
its not the usual me to run away from my problems.
but i hope i am entitled to some rest and happiness.
I have been an unfilial son.
My dad is in hospital.
jus had an operation.
and here i am, thinking bout having fun for the coming week.
then tragedy struck today when all plans are going to be canceled due to some stupid reasons.
and i have no one to blame.
maybe it is god's will to wan me to return home soon.
maybe i am jus not entitled to love and be loved.
maybe i am jus not given to opputunity to have fun and relax here.
maybe returning to sunny singapore is jus a destiny i have to fulfil.
sorry to many of my frens whom i have disappointed too many times.
sorry for having to listen to me nag and bitch about how sad and fuck up my life is.
sorry for not listening to the advice all u guys have given me.
sorry for not loving myself like u guys love me.
sorry to the ppl who loves me, cause i haven loved u back enough.
sorry to shame u guys for making the wrong decision again and again.
sorry but the strong me, isn't tt strong after all.
i can't remmeber the last time i could cry out loud.
tears stream down my face whnever i feel sad.
but i really wan to cry out loud.
and i feel like doin it now.
i am not a drama queen.
tis is jus me.
fuck all those who think i act emo and dramatise my life.
cause the matter of truth,
i have a fucked up life, wit lots of fucked up ppl and i chose to stay fucked up despite having a lot more better choices to choose from.
ultimately.
i am fucked up.
i have no one to blame but myself.
fuck u bitch.
u lost again tis time.
i am not perfect at the end of the day.
I jus try to be.
but obviously, i have been an utter failure.
171107, SAT, 1815hrs
And when we don, they make us learn at even a higher and bigger price.
This is wat hapened to me.
Just when i thought i could give it all up, it came right back at me.
and then i fall for it, and made the same old mistake again.
Punishment tis time is far greater.
And I choose not to confront it anymore.
but rather, i wan to escape from it.
sorry for being a coward.
but i am tired.
its not the usual me to run away from my problems.
but i hope i am entitled to some rest and happiness.
I have been an unfilial son.
My dad is in hospital.
jus had an operation.
and here i am, thinking bout having fun for the coming week.
then tragedy struck today when all plans are going to be canceled due to some stupid reasons.
and i have no one to blame.
maybe it is god's will to wan me to return home soon.
maybe i am jus not entitled to love and be loved.
maybe i am jus not given to opputunity to have fun and relax here.
maybe returning to sunny singapore is jus a destiny i have to fulfil.
sorry to many of my frens whom i have disappointed too many times.
sorry for having to listen to me nag and bitch about how sad and fuck up my life is.
sorry for not listening to the advice all u guys have given me.
sorry for not loving myself like u guys love me.
sorry to the ppl who loves me, cause i haven loved u back enough.
sorry to shame u guys for making the wrong decision again and again.
sorry but the strong me, isn't tt strong after all.
i can't remmeber the last time i could cry out loud.
tears stream down my face whnever i feel sad.
but i really wan to cry out loud.
and i feel like doin it now.
i am not a drama queen.
tis is jus me.
fuck all those who think i act emo and dramatise my life.
cause the matter of truth,
i have a fucked up life, wit lots of fucked up ppl and i chose to stay fucked up despite having a lot more better choices to choose from.
ultimately.
i am fucked up.
i have no one to blame but myself.
fuck u bitch.
u lost again tis time.
i am not perfect at the end of the day.
I jus try to be.
but obviously, i have been an utter failure.
171107, SAT, 1815hrs
posted by SunShine at 11:27 PM
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