For Mummy.

I am dedicating tis post to my mum.
I miss her..
Yup.. she is the most important person in my life after all.. but its sad tt i only realised it so late..
since i was young, she had given me the best.. and she tries not to turm me down wit all my ridiculous wants and needs..
frens thought tt i was rich and spoilt.. well, i am not rich, but i am definately spoilt by her..
I didn't grow up to depends on her a lot.. i think i am quite independent actually..
but then, i start to boss her around, telling her wat to do and stuff.. and i become even more ridiculous..
coming to australia to study was a choice tt i made..
i didn't consult her.. i didn't even give her a chance to say no to me..
i jus insisted tt i can do it and i wan to do it..
i didn't care if she had to work harder.. i didn't care if she would miss me..
i didnt care if she would be worried bout me..
but i noe she does..
its raining outside now.. and the rain is as ridiculous as me..
Who the hell would think tt australia would rain at a time like tis.. and tis heavily..
well.. i am sunshine.. and when i am down and sad, the rain will fall..
i don noe why.. but it jus seems to happen.. its quite scary..
wheni feel down and sad.. the rain jus company me...
i think i will call mummy later.. but whenever the phone rings and she picks up..
i jus don noe wat to say..
i am afraid tt saying i miss her would make her miss me more..
i am afraid to tell her my problems.. i don wan her to worry..
but sometimes, i jus wan to noe tt she is fine.. and i miss my grandma too..
well...
after the ordeal in the last few days, it was really too much for me to take..
i am badly hurt and injured..
i need time to heal and recover..
i realised i should luv the ppl tt luv me..
and i shouldn'v luv the ppl tt didn't luv me at all..
but luv is blind and i can't help it..
i am trying to move on. trying to concentrate on my work..
i have a test coming up..
i haven took a test for so long.. i wonder if i can take the pressure..
i hope to score well. i wan to do well. i wan my distinctions... but i am afraid i will be disappointed at the end of the day..
i don think i should continue grumbling here anymore..
i am now going to spend my time studying and working hear..
i don wan mummy to be disappointed...
she said tt i should study hard, and she will work hard for me..
isn't tt the most touching thing?
i must prepare for war.. i need my fighting spirit back...
i need the sun to shine on me again.. i need to focus on my goals and dreams..
last but not least, i mustn't let anyone down..
its been 2 months since i last saw u. Take care mummy..



150907, SAT, 2318hrs.