It hurts when u realise you can't make the person you love happy.

Wanted to blog a few days back.. but the internet was down..
yes tts how sucky it is over here.. the internet is slow and it goes down at times.. which is extremely frustrating.
anyway i have been trhough a little struggle in school.. cause i really haven been doin school work for sometime.. my attention span has oso dropped drastically.. which is bad..
but thanks to my fren here, she has indeed help me alot and i owe her a lot man..
i am feeling emo again tis afternoon.. was reading through my ex's blog.. and chattin wit frens..
nope i don miss home..
i miss him. and some other ppl back in SG..
i thought i still luv him.. i think i do.. maybe i miss the times we were together.. the joy he gave me.. and the stuff he made me realise..
but reading his blog jus now..
i can c tt he is happily dating other ppl.. he is much happier now..
something which i can;t give him.. i can't make him hapy.. i don noe why.. but i jus gave him the sorrows tt was in me.. he was the few who saw wat was really in me.. and its jus not wat he expects..
i didn't treasure him when i had him.. its my fault.
and to noe tt i can't give the person i luv wat he wans, hurt me more..

i wan to study hard and get really good grades.. but alot of times.. i start to doubt myself...
cause i am afraid of disappointment when i don achieve wat i wan..
fortuantely.. i have got to meet really nice ppl here.. as much as some of them don look as nice as they may be.. but so far so good.. at least i could like click wit them.. everyone seems to be angel here .. cause sometimes u r jus desperate for some company..

i need luv... jus like any body else. butits jus hardfor me.. i don noe why..
maybe its because i expect to much..
maybe because i am not trying hard enough..
maybe its jus meant to be..