Stubborn VS. Persistent.. i need a balance..
I have the sudden urge to blog after reading my frens blog... haha..
such great blogs..
i luv reading those wit lots of pictures..lots of real honest confessions.. lots of gossips.. and lots of pain..
Yes i noe i am crazy sometimes.. but tts jus me..
anyway i am really tired of rehearsals.. i never thought i would sit down and play my instru for hours.. and by tt i mean like maybe an average of 6 hrs of rehearsal?
CRAZY i NOE!@.. my hands are all soar and i had to bring a cushion to work cause my butt got so soar sitting on those really hard chairs.. tts how bad it is..
and i have put on so much fucking weight.. cause all i do is eat the sit there and rehearse..
these 3 days have been hell again.. cause rehearsals are usually in the noon tiss nite.. and i acutally still manage to go teach in the morning.. OMG.. so i am working like more then 12 hrs a day..
and its all bout music!! OMG.. i am really going crazy. i guess tts why i didn;t choose music as a career..
So i am totally drain.. but tomolo is going to be worse.. rehearsal form 9 am to 10 pm!!!
OMG!!!
pls pray for me..
anyway i was reading my dance partner's blog.. and i realised how much i mis dancing wit her. and meeting up weekly to go for our lessons.. no matter how tired we are.. no matter how sick we are.. no matter how hard we bitch bout not wanting to go for class.. we still reach there everyweek.. punctually without faill..
honestly i didn;t think i did very well overall.. i think i could have done better causeu i didn;t practice much..
during the last dance of the last class.. i really tried my best and our instructor did give pretty good comment. i was really happy.. and so was she.. we had really good rapport... and i jus can;t wait to do it again.. but i guess time doesn;t allow me.. i was terribly disdappinted when our classmates are moving on to the next level and we can;t.. they were oso saying tt it is such a waste.. and we were seriously one of the better ones in class..
tts sux big time.. thinking bout it makes me feel sour...
well anyway the guy tt i have been dating for the pass one and a half months.. is kinda of getting to be a jerk..
i realised since the start of my blog.. its has been filled wit heart breaking moments.. none of the guys i dated turn out well.. and honestly i wan to date a gal.. i jus didn;t find the oppurtunity.. well back to the jerk.. i think i shouldn;t stay so stubborn anymore.. if he can;t be bothered then i shouldn;t be upset bout it,. i noe its going to be his lost.. i played my part.. but he didn;t play his game..
damn it.. jus fiuck off if u r not serious...
oh ya.. anyway was reading onr of my fren;s blog. and realised tt a female dance instructor tt i was crazy about jus got attached.. the feeling really sux too.. she got together wit another male instructor..
i really miss her too.. her lessons.. talking to her although its always a very short moment... and the way she says good bye to me every time i leave the studio..
tt smile and energy she has got, i will always remember.. thinking bout her noe.. makes me feel kinda of confiuse..
i noe i am bi.. and after all these years.. i can still confirm tt i like gals.. as well as guys,.
wat i don understand is i jus react really differently to the 2 different sexes..
i get totally shy and awkard wit a gal.. and i get really open and bitchy wit a guy usully..
so its really weird.. its like a split personality..
i almost slap myself jus now when i read tt she got attched.. i really regret not asking her out.. all i dod was bought her choc and wrote her a note.. which i did for all the other instructors too.. so nothing special,..
i jus hate myself for not giving tt extra effort..
but anyway.. i jus hope she's happy.. cause i luv seeing her smile....
i am tired le.. and kinda of upset.. a bit lost now.. nothing much to look forward to except ORD and flying off to AUS to study.. its a form of escape to me.. its actually starting anew too.. i wan to move on to be a better person.. i jus hope for the best..
last but not least, my mum's boss recently jus passed away due to an accident.. its really upsetting.. according to my mum.. i resemble him.. cause we are both scorpios and he is really stubborn..he is really successfull in my point of view.. but it all happen too suddenly.. i was pretty shock too.. hmm.. life is never fair.. i hope for the best for his family.. i hope he rest in peace too.. maybe i should tell meself to not be so stubborn anymore.. i will try..
sometimes giving up on something is not a failure.. but its actually telling urslef to move on.. don be stubborn when u r believeing in the wrong things.. cause u wouldn;t noe how much time and effort u have wastd till u give it up..
sometimes its jus not worth it..
byez all.. got to wake up early tomolo.. haveing a bet wit my fren.. the one who is late got to buy lunch.. haha.. so i don wan to lose.. NITEZ!!
160607 SAT 0104 hrs..
such great blogs..
i luv reading those wit lots of pictures..lots of real honest confessions.. lots of gossips.. and lots of pain..
Yes i noe i am crazy sometimes.. but tts jus me..
anyway i am really tired of rehearsals.. i never thought i would sit down and play my instru for hours.. and by tt i mean like maybe an average of 6 hrs of rehearsal?
CRAZY i NOE!@.. my hands are all soar and i had to bring a cushion to work cause my butt got so soar sitting on those really hard chairs.. tts how bad it is..
and i have put on so much fucking weight.. cause all i do is eat the sit there and rehearse..
these 3 days have been hell again.. cause rehearsals are usually in the noon tiss nite.. and i acutally still manage to go teach in the morning.. OMG.. so i am working like more then 12 hrs a day..
and its all bout music!! OMG.. i am really going crazy. i guess tts why i didn;t choose music as a career..
So i am totally drain.. but tomolo is going to be worse.. rehearsal form 9 am to 10 pm!!!
OMG!!!
pls pray for me..
anyway i was reading my dance partner's blog.. and i realised how much i mis dancing wit her. and meeting up weekly to go for our lessons.. no matter how tired we are.. no matter how sick we are.. no matter how hard we bitch bout not wanting to go for class.. we still reach there everyweek.. punctually without faill..
honestly i didn;t think i did very well overall.. i think i could have done better causeu i didn;t practice much..
during the last dance of the last class.. i really tried my best and our instructor did give pretty good comment. i was really happy.. and so was she.. we had really good rapport... and i jus can;t wait to do it again.. but i guess time doesn;t allow me.. i was terribly disdappinted when our classmates are moving on to the next level and we can;t.. they were oso saying tt it is such a waste.. and we were seriously one of the better ones in class..
tts sux big time.. thinking bout it makes me feel sour...
well anyway the guy tt i have been dating for the pass one and a half months.. is kinda of getting to be a jerk..
i realised since the start of my blog.. its has been filled wit heart breaking moments.. none of the guys i dated turn out well.. and honestly i wan to date a gal.. i jus didn;t find the oppurtunity.. well back to the jerk.. i think i shouldn;t stay so stubborn anymore.. if he can;t be bothered then i shouldn;t be upset bout it,. i noe its going to be his lost.. i played my part.. but he didn;t play his game..
damn it.. jus fiuck off if u r not serious...
oh ya.. anyway was reading onr of my fren;s blog. and realised tt a female dance instructor tt i was crazy about jus got attached.. the feeling really sux too.. she got together wit another male instructor..
i really miss her too.. her lessons.. talking to her although its always a very short moment... and the way she says good bye to me every time i leave the studio..
tt smile and energy she has got, i will always remember.. thinking bout her noe.. makes me feel kinda of confiuse..
i noe i am bi.. and after all these years.. i can still confirm tt i like gals.. as well as guys,.
wat i don understand is i jus react really differently to the 2 different sexes..
i get totally shy and awkard wit a gal.. and i get really open and bitchy wit a guy usully..
so its really weird.. its like a split personality..
i almost slap myself jus now when i read tt she got attched.. i really regret not asking her out.. all i dod was bought her choc and wrote her a note.. which i did for all the other instructors too.. so nothing special,..
i jus hate myself for not giving tt extra effort..
but anyway.. i jus hope she's happy.. cause i luv seeing her smile....
i am tired le.. and kinda of upset.. a bit lost now.. nothing much to look forward to except ORD and flying off to AUS to study.. its a form of escape to me.. its actually starting anew too.. i wan to move on to be a better person.. i jus hope for the best..
last but not least, my mum's boss recently jus passed away due to an accident.. its really upsetting.. according to my mum.. i resemble him.. cause we are both scorpios and he is really stubborn..he is really successfull in my point of view.. but it all happen too suddenly.. i was pretty shock too.. hmm.. life is never fair.. i hope for the best for his family.. i hope he rest in peace too.. maybe i should tell meself to not be so stubborn anymore.. i will try..
sometimes giving up on something is not a failure.. but its actually telling urslef to move on.. don be stubborn when u r believeing in the wrong things.. cause u wouldn;t noe how much time and effort u have wastd till u give it up..
sometimes its jus not worth it..
byez all.. got to wake up early tomolo.. haveing a bet wit my fren.. the one who is late got to buy lunch.. haha.. so i don wan to lose.. NITEZ!!
160607 SAT 0104 hrs..
posted by SunShine at 9:35 AM
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